Frequently Asked Questions

Questions are welcome here at Interlace. Below are the most common things people ask when considering counseling with Andrea.

What can I expect in the first session? 

We begin with the question, “What do you need and want?” Those answers shape everything that follows. Together, we clarify what’s happening, what you’re hoping for, and what outcomes would make the work most meaningful for you.

This first session isn’t about pathology; it’s about goals, hopes, and patterns. Andrea helps elucidate what you want to create, not just what you want to stop. 

If needed, she may also explore what happens if things don’t change, to help you both get honest about what’s at stake. You’ll leave the first session with clarity about whether this work feels like a fit and what the next step looks like. 

How long is the process?

Every relationship has its own rhythm, but there is a common flow: 

  1. Intro Call: A 20–30-minute meeting to explore what’s happening and ensure we’re a good match for the work. Occasionally, Andrea will meet with each of you individually as well as together to see if we are a mutual fit.

  2. Assessment: Together we map your relational patterns, uncover the roots of distress or disconnection, and figure out the way forward.

  3. Sessions + Tools: This is structured, guided work where insight meets practice. Andrea works efficiently and relationally; many clients begin to feel significant movement within the first few sessions.

  4. Growth Between Sessions: Practice moments, reflection, and real-life application help new patterns take hold. 

  5. Ongoing Support: With continuing integration and refinement, understanding deepens. 

Do you take insurance?

Andrea does not work directly with insurance. She offers private-pay sessions and multi-session packages at a reduced rate as an incentive for commitment and consistency.

A portion of her practice is dedicated to “community care” spots, ensuring that financial hardship doesn’t stand in the way of relational healing. ICI also maintains a limited number of pro bono slots specifically for couples facing significant systemic or temporary hardships (such as sudden job loss or medical crises).

If you’re interested in an adjusted-rate spot, please let Andrea know during the initial contact or during your consultation. ICI offers these slots because we value relationship health, fairness, and accessibility. The goal is to find a balance that honors your commitment to your relationship and the professional value of our work together.

What happens if conflict gets intense during a session?

Conflict in relationships is normal, natural, and inevitable. Andrea guides sessions firmly and respectfully, ensuring the safety in the room, even during times of stress. She regulates the process so that no one attacks, no one retreats, and everyone can stay present in the work.

If needed, she may pause the conversation, name what’s happening from her perspective, and help each of you ground before continuing. 

“All eyes are on me, not on each other. We don’t fight in the room. We learn.” 

~Andrea Shafir

What if I get emotionally flooded?

Emotional flooding is a signal, not a failure. Andrea helps you re-regulate quickly, so the nervous system can return to balance. You’ll never be pushed past your capacity for safety or awareness. 

At the start of your work together, Andrea introduces the Pass Rule: if a question or topic feels too activating, you can simply say, “I’ll pass for now.” That choice signals self-awareness and keeps the work safe and sustainable. 

“We don’t linger in overwhelm — we learn from it, re-regulate, and return to connection.” ~Andrea Shafir

How long until I see progress?

Many clients begin to notice subtle shifts within the first two to three sessions. Even small changes, like new or different responses to one another, shorter arguments, and calmer repairs, are signs of progress.

How soon is Andrea available for emergencies?

Andrea is available by text or phone for brief check-ins between sessions, typically during business hours (10 a.m.–7 p.m. PST). Extra sessions can be arranged.

If your situation feels acute and you can’t reach her immediately, she encourages you to practice the tools you’ve learned in sessions, such as grounding, breath work, or a short-written reflection. 

If you ever feel unsafe, contact 911, your local emergency service, or 988 Crisis Helpline.